What on Earth is JOMO?
How I was finally introduced to FOMO's more polite and welcoming cousin
At this point, I feel like everybody is comfortably familiar with the idea of FOMO, or the “Fear of Missing Out” phenomenon.
It often dictates many of the decisions we make on the daily.
Suddenly, everyone around you is talking about seeing that new movie that came out last week, and a strange feeling of compulsion begins to poke at you, nudging you to see it as well.
Or maybe…
You want to tell your family that you’d love to make plans to see them for New Year’s, but are equally compelled to leave the slot in your calendar blank, just in case something were to come up.
In some cases, it can be almost crippling, leaving someone unable to make the kinds of plans and decisions that they want to make, or struggling to spend time on things that genuinely matter to them, rather than basing their habits on pastimes which will help them stay culturally in-the-know.
I know for myself, this feeling has often been the sole reason for my own deciding on which movie or show to put on at the end of the day.
It’s almost like one develops a sixth sense for knowing what exactly their coworkers will end up asking them if they’ve watched or listened to lately, and in anticipation of that question, one’s content consumption morphs into a sort of studying for potential future social exchanges.
It feels… gross.
I’ve gone through phases of feeling like FOMO had nothing on me, and I was truly my own person, making decisions entirely of my own volition, and I’ve also occasionally held the belief that, even when I’m not totally aware of it, the ‘fear of missing’ out may be subconsciously nudging me in a specific direction.
My Introduction to “The Joy of Missing Out”
This morning, I heard someone mention JOMO for the first time.
Somewhat a given by the name, I figured it had to be in reference to our familiar friend, FOMO, but it wasn’t until I heard Oliver Burkeman explain the “Joy of Missing Out” in the context of his book, Four Thousand Weeks, that I realized how brilliant of a concept this really was.
JOMO, barring any individual interpretations of the concept, generally refers to the idea of directly acknowledging the fact that we are only truly able to do one thing at any one given moment, and then deriving a sense of peace from that realization.
In fact, one could say that it is specifically that knowledge that we are choosing to do one thing and one thing alone that gives the very thing we’re doing any value at all.
While there is a whole philosophical wormhole regarding the finitude of life itself that could be unravelled if one were to look too deeply into the implications of a belief like this, even at surface level, such a concept offers individuals the power to stare FOMO in the face, and take back control of one’s own actions.
For me, this is a powerful realization, and personally speaks to my new mindset for how I approach the creative process.
Knowing that there are an infinite number of things I could be choosing to do with my time, and my choice is to sit down and make something — and within that choice, an infinite number of things I could be making, but knowing that something specific came to mind — feels worth paying attention to.
At the end of the day, any one of these mindsets or approaches to how to live one’s best life are only inherently meaningful if they are applied in a way that brings about a positive change.
I believe that simply through being exposed to ideas like these, individuals are better off than they were before, as it allows a person the ability to become slightly more aware of the potential biases that are influencing their actions.
And it is that kind of awareness that so often jumpstarts a person’s journey to finding a renewed sense of inner peace.
So my challenge to readers is to give into that feeling of JOMO, and see how it feels to acknowledge and appreciate the choices you’re making in life.
I’ll leave you here with a few journaling prompts for those who want to do a bit of guided thinking around this topic:
Describe a situation where you experienced JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). How did it feel to consciously choose to opt out of something and focus on your own priorities instead?
Imagine a future where you consistently embrace JOMO and prioritize your own needs and desires over external pressures. What does that future look like? How can you work towards making it a reality?
Reflect on the quote, "It is specifically that knowledge that we are choosing to do one thing and one thing alone that gives the very thing we're doing any value at all." How does this idea resonate with you? How can you apply it to your own life?
I’d love to hear how it goes!
But for now, have a great rest of the week.